Monday, July 3, 2017

Why Do They Keep Killing Us? #SayTheirNames

The question posed by Trinity. She's only 13 and yet she knows that her world is not as innocent as she once thought it to be. She wants to know. I want to know. Tell us. Why have 15 trans people, mostly transgender women of color, been killed this year? Why are we seeing this? Tell us. Tell them. Tell her.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Ally is a verb

I never considered myself an ally. When Trinity said she was a girl and we listened to her, I didn't see that as anything other than being a parent loving their child regardless of who they were or loved. And to be honest, being new to the journey of raising a transgender child, my soul was far too sensitive to try and fight those against her and our family's choice.

But that was then....

And this is now and I've become what is known as an advocate. But more than that. I'm an ally. 

Ally is often referred to as a noun in our English dictionary, but for me, and many others that I look up to, it's a verb. 

Being an ally, means working hard to amplify and uplift the voices of marginalized groups without centering. This can be a difficult task and often gets lost. Being an ally, however, means getting lost often and learning from that moment. It means being uncomfortable. It means knowing there are going to be many who will say things that are so hurtful you want to hide in a hole and just protect you and yours. But then, you can't be an ally. You can be an advocate and if that's easiest, that's okay. No one saying it's wrong. 

Don't take that sentiment personal. It's how I feel. I'm simply saying, when you go from advocate to ally, you are usually going from you and yours to all. And yeah, sometimes that means you're going to tick off a few on the way down.

In the end, it does make a difference. For so many, including you and yours. 

Always ready
Leading a new way
Learning from mistakes
Yelling for inclusivity, diversity, and intersectionality


This Thursday evening at 7pm I'll be talking on a live stream for Black Lives Matter Boston. Would love to have many tune in for discussion about being a woman of color raising a transgender teen girl of color. 

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Updates and a special announcement!

Hi everyone!

It's been busy for me and the family. Trinity is bunkering down hard to get prepared for high school in the fall of 2018. It's a very accepting and affirming place and based primarily for STEM loving students.

Trinity has also been busy becoming bit of a local celebrity here in our little state of Delaware and I couldn't be prouder of seeing her reach so many. Changing hearts and minds is what she does best and it's always an honor to witness that first hand.

If you check out the blog, I have extra links at the top where you can find everything we've done and will be doing in the near future. It's a lot of exciting stuff, let me tell you!

One of the most amazing announcements to share is....*drum roll*

Trin and I are now being represented by Naomi Davis of Inkling Literary Agency for two picture books we wrote together titled, "Trinity's Truth & Trinity's Question". We are SUPER excited!

Trinity was also featured in a two part documentation of her life with our local news paper which was then picked up by USA Today (you can find the link on the Advocacy Work page).

Trin has also started estrogen and I've seen such an amazing change in her behavior. She's confident, stronger (she's always been strong but a pure sense of self), and simply the girl, well young woman, she's always known herself to be. 

On my end, I've been lobbying for LGBTQ  youth and their rights in DC and in my own state, gave testimony to ban conversion therapy. This past Sunday, my state held an Equality march to coincide with the Capitol Pride march in DC. I had the honor of being a guest speaker.

So that's some of everything for now. I'll update as more amazing news happens! Thanks everyone for standing in support for Trinity and our family.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

That Time She Quietly Made History #GenderRevolution #GirlOnFire #BlackGirlMagic #MakingHistory

Trinity is THIRTEEN now. I can't believe it. And this year, will be officially ten years she has lived as her authtentic self. So much has happened in one year that our heads are still spinning but we don't dare stop speaking out and representing a marginalized group within society. I can't possibly express the pride I have when I watch my daughter's presence inspire others.

Recently, she and I got to go to the White House and meet President and First Lady Obama. So amazing of an experience. The First Lady told Trinity that she was beautiful! 

In front of the White House

Also, Trinity was featured in the National Geographic issue on Gender Revolution where it states something not many outside of family and friends knew about. 

Showing her image found in National Geographic

You see, this image is Trinity waiting while her pediatric endocrinologist inputs information before her Lupron injection. This is a medication she receives every three months to suppress puberty. What many didn't know is that her getting to this point did not come easy. In fact, she had to fight for the very medication that would save her from depression, anxiety, and dysphoria. 

Our family is on Medicaid and we weren't sure how this would work in terms of getting the puberty blockers. Truth be told, I assumed it wouldn't be an issue. Yet it was. And we had to fight being denied. And we did. Because I'm a mama bear and my daughter's happiness is everything to me. 

After eight months and several letters AND an appeal hearing later, my daughter not only won, but she also became the first minor in the state of Delaware to be approved by Medicaid to cover her transition. 

History made by a minor. A trans kid of color at that and not many knew. But I knew. Her friends knew. Family knew. Her doctors knew. And she is our hero for sure because of it!

Like that wonderful song by Alicia Keys, Girl On Fire, Trinity, my beautiful girl, is just a girl and she's on fire. Making changes for all and remaining humble and authentic as always.

Credit: Artist Quinn Chen