Tuesday, February 26, 2013

When did convenience replace parenting?

"I'm just too tired to deal with this anymore!"

We've heard it from parents. Heck, I know I've said it from time to time. I work really hard now not to, however, because, it's rude. It's hurtful, and it's untrue. At least it should be. That single statement says that, as a parent, you have given up on doing what's right by your child and decided to focus more on what works for you.

It's a call for convenience in your life and if the child in question threatens that? Well then, time to wash your hands and screw them over. Is that fair to the one person that depends on you to love and protect them? To guide them in the right direction so that they can grow into confident adults? Of course not! So when you spout those words or something similar, you're telling them, their childish ways are totally cramping your style.

I see this more and more these days. Parents wanting expecting more from those who don't know much other than what they've been taught to keep up with their lifestyle. Only to then get all huffy when said child surpasses them out of no longer trusting that parent and becoming unruly, disrespectful, pains in the tush!

Yeah, maybe parts of the media creates the newest generations of monsters we have in this world today, but so does how we respond to our offspring.

I try to look from the other side, the child's side to better understand and I know if someone I loved, like my husband for example, told me that he didn't want to deal with me because my lack of understanding the world of comic books were too embarrassing, I'd feel crushed. Not good enough for him. How do you think a child would feel? And we know that children always believe everything is their fault to begin with. Why add to that emotion?

photo credit: Pirata Larios via photopin cc

That's not a face we should ever be the cause of.

Look, I could have easily put an end to Trinity's journey from the get go. I had people ask me why I'd allow such a thing. Wasn't I worried what others would think? If I gave myself the care about what people were going to think and deny my child happiness, then that would have been me forsaking my vow as a parent to her for my own comfort. My own convenience. Anyone who does that, in my opinion, are just pitiful.

So as you read this, I want you to ask yourself:

1.  What am I or have I done in my journey as a parent that may have been for my own benefit?

2.  Did I try to cover it up and say I'm doing it for my child's well being?

3. Was it necessary for my child to have it done in the first place?

4.  Could it have waited?

5. Was it because I worried about how others would perceive me and/or my child?

6. Does it make my child happy or hinder them as a whole?

Each day I do something involving raising my children, I go through these basic questions and of course, I'll get them wrong sometimes, but I make up for it. Because in the end of the day, I decided that my need for comforts and convenience has no place in loving my children.

photo credit: Lotus Carroll via photopin cc
Yeah, that's the ticket!

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