Tuesday, April 24, 2012

When did we start hating kids so much?

Okay, so maybe hate is a strong word, but the more I see articles that are so very anti-kids, the more I believe it. Yes we have the "It Gets Better" campaign for primarily homosexual children being bullied and that's wonderful, but then we have some places that want to instill that it's okay if it's against your beliefs? What?! And the whole, people with kids should have their own separate places on planes or in restaurants. So, segregation? Wow. And heaven forbid you actually listen to those little creatures. Yuck!

Recently, an article by a woman for the Huffpost came out (link below) where she went into how her 9 year old child came to her saying he was really a she. In this blog, I've mentioned the path we've taken with Trinity and so, after reading her article, I totally understood and wanted to give her a high five. But then I made the stupid mistake of reading the comments. Granted, many were positive and in support of what the family has given to their child, but there were some, those confusing, negative ones that obviously wouldn't know what a book was if it was thrown at their heads. It's easy to research the truth about Gender Identity Disorder for both children and adults. Hell, it's in the DSM-IV! And documented in the American Academy of Pediatrics. Who would have thunk it?

Needless to say, majority of the Debbie Downers were concerned that the mother forced this on the child. That a 9 year old knows nothing so couldn't possibly know they are in the wrong body. And of course, when asked how old they were when they figured out if they were male or female, they either ignored the question or answered with, "I don't remember that far back." Yes they do, but to acknowlege their judgemental comments are plain idiotic, would probably cause a paradox of some kind and the world would come to an end. My favorite thus far, has been a child doesn't know what gender they are until they enter puberty. Uhh...

I have never questioned that my daughter was too young to know what she wanted. That would me assuming she was dumb, and if that was the case, it means her lack of understanding herself and needs would fall on me. I'm her mother, teacher, and guide too, and would hope that I instilled enough self-confidence in her to know who she was. Never in a million years, would I purposely want my child to live a life that could prove to be difficult and dangerous, and I don't want to believe any loving parent would either. At the same time, we want them happy and if your child is saying how depressed they are, they're suicidal (41% suicide rate folks), threatening self mutilation even (as mine did), what is so hard about allowing them to socially transition? I think the problem is the misinformation of what it means to have a transgender child. Since it has only been adults in the news and they go through surgical procedures to get where they are, people assume that's the same for the children. It's not.

Trinity has been living as a girl since she was almost 5. She did not go through anything medical or surgical. She just dressed differently and was called by she instead of he. As for the name, Trinity was already her middle name, so not much of a jump there. Now that she's getting older and her body is starting puberty, then yes, medicine will be the next step, but again, nothing surgical and she's old enough to make that choice with her doctors and therapist. According the AAP (link below), gender identity is set long before puberty, and is solid by school age. Even in schools, at least it happened in my kids' school, they are asked their name, age, and gender. Trinity always said "girl" and no matter how many times she was corrected, she corrected her teachers right back. So what's so hard in understanding that kids DO know? Why is it scary to know that gender is fluid?

Gender identity is not the same as sexuality, your sex, or gender roles. Gender identity is who you are inside, not just how you feel, but what you know. And if people believe that it can be disregarded because "a child isn't mature enough to know anything but what adults tell them", well, then I'm going to come tell them that they're child isn't four! That's something the parents have forced the child to say. How dare they! Hey parents! Stop forcing designated birthdays on your kids! It's wrong and should not be a decision made until that child is old enough to know what day they want to celebrate on!

So seriously, leave it alone. If you don't get it, fine. But don't undermine my child's intelligence by saying they can't know what they want and who they are. If you've ever taken the time to sit down and listen to kids, you might find they are a hell of a lot smarter than us adults. I mean they have to be, because while we're stressing about how we'll look for swimsuit season, they're covered in mud and dirt, smiling and laughing, and not caring at all what they look like to the other kids. And as for the other kids? They think the kid in the mud is really cool and should join them!

American Academy of Pediatrics article on Gender Identity in children
Transgender Child Article


Skatha said...

Beautifully written!

Jo Cattell said...

You are such an insperation to me. I agree beautifully written!!!!!