Monday, August 17, 2009

The sign is simple...

So many have wondered what we could have possibly seen to know that my child was transgendered. I've had questions from other parents who wonder about their own children.

I am here to say that there are children that may just be gender variant. Or in other words, they do not follow society's gender norms. That doesn't mean they'll be gay, that's MUCH too early to tell in young children as sexual identity and gender identity are two separate things. That being said, I will explain what it was that helped us know that our child had GID.

  1. Since American Association of Pediatrics show that a child is aware of their gender by age 3 and gender identity is stable by 4, when Trinity kept insisting she was a girl at 3 and 4, was a good sign.
  2. She became withdrawn, depressed, and anxious at 4 years. Stopped interacting with her peers in school and was overall an unhappy child.
  3. She became emotionally violent at times and became jealous of other little girls.
  4. She tried to castrate herself
There were more of course. The dressing up in girl's clothing since she was young and saying she was going to grow up to be a mommy. And because of those signs and the help of our doctors and therapists, we knew what we had to do for her. It was not about letting her get the attention she wanted, but about life and death.

If you have seen these signs in your child, maybe look into therapists that can help and research it online. If you just have a boy child that likes cooking, playing with dolls on occasion and dressing up, but knows he's a boy and has no distress over his body. Then there's a good chance he's just not following what society says he's supposed to follow. And vice versa for the girls. But hey, that's what we want for our children right? To be leaders and not followers? I know I did and I'm proud of my little girl for sticking to what she knew was right for her.

1 comment:

Brianne said...

I'm really glad that I found your blog. I'm confused about similar issues with my 7 year old boy. While he hasn't shown any signs that are as serious as the ones in your post, he tells me a lot that he really wants to change his name and be able to be a girl in public. He has wanted to dress like a girl since he was little and I have always let him (he sleeps and lives in his dresses), and he has always preferred girl toys. He even took to wearing a towel on his head for a while so that he could have long hair.
Are there any yahoo groups or similar online support groups that are available for this type of thing?